How Good are You at Managing Transitions in Life?

It’s impossible to go through life in a steady state of happiness and contentment. Yet when you hit the rocky places – illness, job loss, relationship breakdowns, financial crises, unpleasant news or difficult home moves, how resilient are you to pick yourself up and move on? Most likely you’ll experience an acute sense of disorientation and loss of control. The rug has been pulled out from under your feet and you’re left hovering unable to feel grounded.

This morning I listened as friend and colleague Nanas Callander shared the moving story of her brush with breast cancer and the journey she’s taken over the last 22 months. As a grandmother, wife, doctor, coach and woman of faith, she told of her experiences to inspire a large group of women from those in their twenties to those in their eighties.

The great lesson is that we can renew ourselves and come out stronger each time.

Nanas likens travelling through life to moving through the chapters of a book in which each arrival on a new page is yet another temporary state on the journey. Drawing on models from the book ‘Life Launch – a Passionate Guide to the Rest of Your Life’, she talked of the outer journey and the inner journey within each cyclical phase of the journey.

The outer journey – is visible to the outside world. This is what you do and experience in terms of visible changes, experiences, activities and results.

The inner journey – is the private space of self-exploration. Here you examine your feelings and learn about who you are becoming.

Renewal involves paying attention and making choices in both the outer and inner journey.  Renewal also involves a cycle rolling through four phases in a predictable pattern:

• Phase 1 –The ‘Go For It’ phase –  where you are full of goal-setting and positive action
• Phase 2 –The ‘Stuck in the Doldrums’ phase –  where you feel bored, trapped or stifled
• Phase 3 – The ‘Cocooned’  phase  – where you’ll be  quiet, withdrawn  and emotional
• Phase 4 – The ‘Getting Ready for the Next Chapter’ phase – the visionary and practical place where you  find new energy for the next chapter.

How then can you whizz from Phase 2 to Phase 4 in order to move on?  Nanas’ message, and one that I echo in my own work and writing, is that we need to take time out to unravel our experience, forgive ourselves, let go, learn and integrate the learning and only then we can re-create ourselves anew.

Finding support to gain that perspective during transitions comes in many forms. Coaching, counselling, reading, writing, walking, art, music, gardening, friendships, faith and space to think are some of the places to explore.  Having someone around who you can trust to find the strength and perspective that enable you to open new choices enables you to enjoy this one wild and precious life.  If you would like to talk about this further, mail me or Nanas to set up  a free conversation about personal coaching.